Thursday, December 20, 2007

Starting Out

When I moved off from home, I thought I knew all the questions, all the answers, and where to turn. Soon after, I realized that the real world was a place for survivors and would crush anyone with a weak link in a split second. From the time that you first pull out of that old familiar driveway to the time when you get your first bill in the mail, strange emotions are coming out of the woodwork and consuming your life. When I look back to when I first moved out, I realize how naive and stupid I must have been. So confident that life was easy and go-lucky, I failed to see the struggle that everyday life can impose. I started to notice the life my parent had provided for me growing up, and I realized that I needed to get my gears together if I was going to be successful even based on my own standards. Suddenly, my goals went from dreaming of being famous to dreaming of making a successful living for myself. I started to see how quickly life can throw you curveballs, and I realized that the only way to better yourself is to learn from struggles. Of course, struggles then were totally different struggles than they are now.

Running out of shampoo before class doesn't seen quite as significant as the toilet overflowing when you're already late for work. And, missing your favorite show because mom wasn't there to remind you took last place compared to not being able to start the car because of a dead battery or getting an outragous power bill because the heat was left on all day. I started to realize how my parents had been right about so many things in the past when I thought they were nagging me. I saw the time and love they selflessly devoted to my practices and games on the days when it took all I could do to drag myself out of bed. I wondered how single mothers cope with daily life when I could barely take care of myself. Suddenly, I was truly scared of growing up, and I longed to climb in the middle between my parents where I knew nothing but love.

I knew that I had so much to learn, and to this day, I believe that people never stop learning how to grow up no matter how old they are.